Tales From the Frontlines: “I Am an Overly Emotional Woman”
From a reader, on crying:
I am an overly emotional woman and it’s something I try to accept and control the best I can. (I blame my mother) Though I have this ‘issue’ I am a strong believer that you leave your personal problems at home. Even when I was recently sexually harassed while simultaneously receiving hate email from my client calling me a ‘raciest’, I held myself together. The way I handled the situation though composure was something the executives in the company noticed and I was given a higher position and a raise.
At one point, I requested a meeting with our COO simply to ask his advice on how he would handle a certain situation. He is a well respected man and we both share the same love for psychology. His advice to me was to grow thicker skin; he said it would take me further and people would see I could handle anything. I must have made a face while I thought “he clearly doesn’t know me. Thanks a lot!” Then he said something I still live by. “Even if you can’t shake it off, don’t ever let them see you sweat. You are in charge of your emotions. When you’re not, just make sure they can’t see it on your face. You’re half way there, just take the stress off your face.”
My mother has told me that my whole life. “You show it on your face. Don’t show it on your face. Etc.”
In life, I have a difficult time differentiating between when to show my emotions and when not to. However, in the workplace, I am a strong believer on being the stronger woman, playing harder, and never let them see you sweat.
On the one hand, we agree. Keeping a stiff upper lip, so to speak, is a smart move. On the other, it just really blows that being “overly emotional” is some kind of problem to be kept in check. It seems to us like just another example of having to act like a man in order to get ahead. Ugh.
Our last post about crying at work certainly hit a nerve, and we’re sure you all have a lot more to say. We want to hear it. Email us.
And please share your own Tales from the Frontlines.
