
Today Marie G. McIntyre, who is apparently the workplace advice guru for McClatchy-Tribune, gives some astoundingly insensitive advice to a young woman who has just entered the workplace. McIntyre is presented with the following, hugely sympathetic, situation:
After starting a new job with a small business, I noticed that there seems to be a lot of sexism here. Everything was fine at first, but lately things have gotten worse. The older men treat the younger women terribly, and the older women do nothing to stop it.
The older men constantly make me feel inadequate because I am just out of college. They say that I should show them more respect. However, I don’t know how to deal with them when they get angry or act irrational.
I don’t want to remain silent about this situation, but there is no one to complain to. What should I do?
She responds:
Since the older women are apparently exempt from this condescending treatment, I suspect the problem is not just sexism, but also a certain arrogance towards new entrants into the workforce.
Although their haughtiness is undoubtedly annoying, try to understand that you do seem quite young to these old-timers. If you want them to value your abilities, you must show some respect for the lessons they have learned in the trenches. So listen patiently to their “war stories” and make an effort to appreciate their point of view.
Should the “sexism” ever escalate into sexual harassment, then you should either leave or file a legal complaint. But if these guys are simply acting like unprofessional dimwits, don’t allow their immaturity to interfere with your success.
One question to consider is how this position fits into your overall career goals. If working for this company is a valuable step towards your desired future, then you would be wise to tolerate a certain amount of frustration.
All together now: UGH. On the one hand, yes, a certain amount of frustration is a given in every job—especially the first job out of college. But smile and listen, really? And did she need to put sexism in quotes? It’s dismissive. And this woman is essentially being told that she shouldn’t speak up at all.
That said, we can’t really imagine what, exactly, the best advice would be. For us, just talking to each other made a big difference. So did talking to our male colleagues, those our age anyway. What else? How do we deal with this sort of thing in a practical, immediate way? Tell us.
Also. We poked around Ms. McIntyre (Ph.D!)’s website. Man. Listed as one of six “Potential Issues for Women”:
Power is an aphrodisiac: Women are often attracted to men with power. Unfortunately, this may include developing an attraction to their boss, leading to problematic workplace romances.
Lady, with all due respect, it might be time to hang it up.
-jesse